The Crushing Boredom of Parenthood (and 3 steps to overcome it)
/I have a confession.
Being home with my kids is MIND-NUMBINGLY BORING. Y’all, I’m scared to even put this out there because I know that I am SO lucky to be able to stay home with my kids. Being a stay-at-home mom was always part of my life plan and it works so well for our family.
Good gracious, it can get boring though. I can’t be alone in this, right??
For me, it has honestly been one of the hardest parts of this gig. It’s one of the reasons I feel like I lost myself for a couple of years. And it’s one of the reasons I needed so badly to find my place as an entrepreneur. Before having kids, I spent my whole life learning, thinking, creating, growing. And then… a beautiful human flew out of my womb (well… lets be honest, sloooowly and painfully nudged his way out over the course of many hours) and all that personal growth seemed to just stop. I know I was growing as a person, into my new role as a mother, but at the same time, I felt like my brain was literally melting away.
I look like the picture of exploding joy & fulfillment here, don’t I?
The nature of motherhood, especially in the early years is just SO constant and SO repetitive, that I just lost myself. My first was one of those “nightmare babies “ (but God bless his soul, I love him so much I could nibble his ears off) you hear about that hardly stops crying and can’t really be soothed by much of anything. I remember so vividly standing in his room doing rhythmic deep squats for at least an hour at a time to get him to stop crying and fall asleep. My back was on fire, my legs were well, getting pretty damn strong actually… But my mind was NUMB.
Fast forward into the preschool years with two littles 17 months apart and it’s still SO constant and SO repetitive. But thank GOD, I found my way into some practices that have helped yank me back into my own. I’m learning, thinking, creating, and GROWING again and I feel like a whole human again.
Are you bored with parenting? It’s ok! I’m confident that this is something we all experience, but never talk about because we’re supposed to be basking in all the immense joy of parenthood and feeling constantly blessed to be at home with our children. #blessed
Loves, that’s not reality! And can we just PLEASE start sharing our truths together??
YES, we love our children, and they bring us massive amounts of joy. Joy, gratitude, boredom (and about eleventy billion other feelings and emotions) – they ALL exist together in parenthood. And that is ok! So do me a favor and give yourself some grace for feeling those yucky feelings. And then let’s get you back to your learning, living, creating, growing whole self!
Here’s what has worked for me to rescue my brain from (some of the) boredom as a mother.
1. Be Selfish!
Yep. I said it. It goes against everything you think you should be as a parent. But trust me when I say this. If you’re not putting yourself first, you’re not being the best parent you can be. Hear me out – I do NOT mean you should neglect your family to do whatever the fu$% you want to do all the time. What I mean is that you need to find ways to nurture your own needs and fill up your cup. My priorities are as follows: Me, my marriage, THEN the kids. Because without a filled-up me, and a nurtured marriage, our family would implode. For me that means, my workouts are non-negotiable, I ask for help when I need it, and I take breaks from my family.
Workouts are non-negotiable - and even the kids can have a little fun while I do it!
2. Find your OWN thing.
Find the thing that fills you up, outside of your family. Try some things, and keep trying until you find the RIGHT thing. When I started my search to fill my cup, I tried a handful of experiences (volunteer organizations, businesses, etc) until I found the thing that felt like the right fit. For me, it was starting my business with Beautycounter. It gave me a way to positively impact other people, learn new skills, and fill up all the parts of me that I didn’t even know needed filling. I have built relationships with some of the most incredible women through Beautycounter, and surrounding myself with like-minded, motivated women has been a total game-changer for me. So whatever it is that fills you up, go out there and find it. Then give as much of yourself to it as you can, because the rewards are immense.
Two of the powerhouse business women in my Beautycounter tribe.
3. Practice Visualization & Gratitude.
I know, I know. Give me a break, right? Sounds cheesy, but y’all this stuff really works! I’m honestly at my absolute best in life, in motherhood, and in business, when I spend time every single day visualizing exactly what I want, and feeling grateful for all of it coming to me. I’m not talking about just making a list of things you’re happy about. That doesn’t work. You need to FEEL it in your bones and get emotional about it! When I do this for my business, unbelievable things happen.
So do me a favor and just try this: Everyday for a week, when you’re laying with your kids for naps/bedtime, or when you’re driving them to school, visualize something you really want to happen. Allow yourself to get excited and giddy about it! See it happening in detail, and FEEL how you’ll feel when it happens. Then let me know what happens! I want to hear from you!
