New Year, TRUE You!
/This time of year, there’s always a huge push in marketing to promote the concept of “New Year, New You!” Because obviously, now that the calendar has turned over, none of us are good enough anymore (eye roll). Companies prey on our insecurities and convince us that what we’ve done and who we were last year is no longer good enough. We’re obsolete now and we need XX product or service to rise to the new expectations of 2019. Well, I’m sorry, but I’m calling bullsh*t.
Your value does not go to zero on December 31st because you gained a few holiday season pounds. Or because you couldn’t keep up with your Whole 30 goals. Or because your house has been a disorganized mess since November 27th. You don’t need a “new you” this year. The “You” you have is already amazing.
The holiday season takes a LOT out of us - especially as moms. We work so hard to make the season everything for everyone, and often our own priorities and self-care practices are the first to be sacrificed when things get crazy. I get it! This year, December seriously kicked my ass. With holiday travel, Christmas preparations and packing up for my whole family to spend 6 months in a new country (more on that next time)… it was a lot. On top of that, in December, I worked with my Little Tomato Creative business partner to complete the first phase of a year-long re-branding project with UCF. I held 2 Beautycounter pop-up shops at local businesses. AND I hosted 2 dinner parties at my house. WHAT WAS I THINKING taking on so much in one month!?
Just like so many of you, I took on way more than I normally would have in any other month and my personal wellness took a back seat. I lost track of my nutrition and fitness goals, the house was a disaster for most of the month, and I was overwhelmed a lot of the time. On December 31st, we got on a plane to fly to all the way across North America with 5 suitcases, 4 carry-ons, 4 backpacks, 2 preschoolers, 2 adults and 1 stroller. And Fiiiiiiive golden ringssss - wait no that’s not right.
Anyway, December is filled with so many things that pull at us from every angle, and we often land on January 1 feeling like “UGH.” We’re exhausted, burnt out and bummed that the excitement and joy of the season is over. We already miss our families who’ve travelled back home to other places, our kids are already bored with their new toys, and we have to get back into the daily grind without the glow of holiday lights and music.
There are piles of reasons to feel yucky this time of year. BUT that doesn’t mean you need a “whole new you!” You just need a little time to regroup and reboot your self-confidence so you can remember why you were incredible in 2018 and why you STILL ARE.
January 2018 vs. January 2019 Still the same love and joy and personality.
Here are some things that do NOT determine your value:
The number of perfectly wrapped presents under your tree
How beautifully decorated your home was for the holidays
The number of Christmassy activities you did with your kids
Your perfectly (or imperfectly) styled outfits for all the holiday parties
The number of holiday cards you got in the mail this year
How perfect (or imperfect) your diet was this season
The way your clothes fit right now.
“OMG, Did you see Nancy’s house this year?? Those lights and decorations were amazing! We got her Christmas card in November, she’s so on top of it. And I heard that she made cookies for the whole school, and didn’t eat a single one. Look at her perfect body, she’s so impressive!”
Give me a break!! Loves, none of that makes Nancy any more valuable than you. And also, Nancy’s probably lying about those cookies, because how SAD would it be to miss out on all of the beautiful treats of the holiday season?! #notworthmissing
Loves, your value right this minute is determined by one thing:
HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF
January 2018 vs January 2019. New year, same me (just slightly different hair). Heart still filled with joy and gratitude. Soul still fulfilled by honoring the TRUE me.
Your value is 100% determined by your own feelings about you. So this year, instead of seeking a “whole new you,” how about getting to a place where you’re really impressed with your “whole TRUE you?” The big, bright, and TRUE you is the most powerful and impressive part of you.
So how can we get back to feeling big and bright instead of “ugh?” By doing things that make us FEEL GOOD.
When we FEEL amazing, we ARE amazing. Everything is brighter, and our light is contagious. Our value as humans is at its highest because we are operating at our highest level of AWESOME. And at that level, we have more patience, compassion, creativity, productivity…All the things that make our world great.
Think about a time when you felt absolutely amazing about yourself… Was it your wedding day? Your Prom? The day you got your dream job or promotion? When you finished your first 5k or marathon? The moments after you gave birth?
Whatever it was, take yourself back there and remember how it felt. You were elated, filled with energy and confidence. You knew you were in the right place at the right time and everything was exactly how it should be. You walked taller, you had a smile on your face, you treated others around you with kindness - your light was shining bright from inside you.
This is your most valuable you. The you that can change the world. So how in the world do you achieve that feeling when you’ve just finished the most overwhelming month of the year? Here are three ways to give your self-confidence a boost and up your value game without a whole “new year, new you” change-up.
1. Set small goals and achieve them.
Don’t believe me? This Navy Seal talks more about the importance of making your bed every day.
One of the biggest ways we boost our opinion of ourselves is by accomplishing something. Even the tiniest accomplishment can set you up for a big confidence boost. They say that the most successful people start each day with a simple and small routine or ritual. For me, it starts with making our bed. I wasn’t always a tidy person (and if you ask my husband, I’m still not.. but I’ve come a long way!) Making my bed used to seem like a waste of time. BUT, several months ago, I started making the bed as soon as I got out of it every single morning. And I’ve found that even that tiny little accomplishment gives me a confidence boost that propels me into the morning with positive energy. I think morning routine goals are most effective because they set up your day to start with a win.
The trick here is to set goals that are achievable but still require some effort. This isn’t the place for making promises for big life changes like, “I’m going to run 5 miles every single morning before the kids wake up.” NOPE. Listen, I’m a fan of setting giant life goals, but right now, this is about boosting your confidence, so make these small and doable. Make your bed as soon as you get up, or unload the dishwasher before breakfast, or take a 3 minute cold shower every morning. Whatever will feel like a win to start your day.
2. Look good.
Ok, hear me out because this is one of the easiest, quickest and most effective ways to achieve a boost in self-confidence. I’m not talking about looking like a model. And this isn’t about dieting or achieving perfection, or changing who you are.
When you feel like you look good, you move to a higher level of energy, don’t you? Think about how amazing you feel when you have a shower, put on some makeup and get ready for a night out? You feel “like a million bucks” right? You’re excited, joyful, bright and energetic. The power of some mascara and a little color on your lips is REAL. Don’t discount it.
You could be racing through errands in cheap athletic wear, hair in a messy bun and holes in your underwear. But if your face feels beautiful, you feel like you can take on the world! And with that energy, you probably can! So this year, prioritize feeling beautiful for YOU. Take the time to wash your face, invest in your skin, and put on some makeup that makes you feel alive! I have some recommendations for incredible products here.
3. Dive into your head and put it on paper.
If you’re like me, your mind is a constant swirl of ALL THE THINGS: to do lists, dinner plans, school schedules, appointments, requests from your children who are constantly asking for things… it’s full. And that makes it super easy to lose track of yourself and what makes you so impressive. I’ve found this simple task incredibly helpful when I feel lost and lacking self-confidence.
Grab a blank notebook or journal and sit down with a pen for 5-10 minutes (or whatever you can give each day). Dig deep into your mind and memories and jot down everything you loved about 2018. Pull out last year’s calendar if it helps. Write down all the tiny things and all the big things. Every single moment that brought you joy. Just spend a few minutes each day unpacking your thoughts and dumping all the positive experiences onto the page. Don’t just sit and think about it, you have to actually write it down. I’m not a master at meditation and sitting alone with just my thoughts almost always ends in a tornado of unproductive energy. UNLESS I’m writing things down. Putting thoughts on paper gives them structure, focus and permanence - exactly what your joyful memories and positive thoughts should have.
This one is most effective when you make it a habit, so try adding it to your list of achievable goals from #1 above. Set a goal to give yourself this gift for 5-10 minutes DAILY and once you’re done with 2018, move on to this year.
TIP: I like to keep a journal in the kitchen and jot things down as I think of them, or while I’m waiting for coffee to brew, or water to boil, etc.
As you add things to this list, you’ll start to remember all the moments you were amazing. All the accomplishments you had. All the wins - big and small. And I’m telling you, it will lift you up in a major way.
So, as you move back into your normal life after the holiday season crazy, I hope these easy confidence boosters will become a part of your daily routine! I know they’ll help remind you of exactly why YOU ARE ALREADY INCREDIBLE. Keep being authentically YOU and the good will keep flowing to you. Cheers to 2019!
I’m curious, let me know in the comments - what other new year rituals do you have? Do you find them successful?
